Have you ever . . . ?

Dear female, married friends and family,

Have you ever . . .

- purposely not reached across and unlocked your date’s car door to send the message that a second date might be unwelcome?

- purposely crushed your date at a video game in order to get him to go home early?

- beat your date at bowling even though your Mom always told you to let boys win?

- repeatedly taken jobs which required you to work on Friday and Saturday nights?

- said no to a first date?

- broken up with a boy you liked because there were other boys you might want to date?

Just curious. This being single and 30 thing isn’t going over too well with me and I have been obsessing over where I went wrong.

Blue Nylons 2

A couple of years ago I suddenly realized, as I sat in Sacrament meeting, that I was wearing blue nylons with a black skirt and black shoes. I was pretty embarrassed but made it through church without anyone noticing.

And then suddenly today when I was setting up my Sunday School class I realized that I was once again wearing blue nylons with a black skirt and black shoes. The lighting in the classroom somehow made the blue really obvious. Why did I originally buy these blue nylons? I can’t remember, but somehow they keep showing up.  And I was so happy this morning when I found a pair of nylons in the back of my sock drawer because I was running late and didn’t know if I had any to wear today and I didn’t really want to show off my January white legs.

I don’t think I bought two pairs of blue nylons so these must be the same pair from a couple of years ago. They have been hiding in the back of my sock drawer all this time.

Needless to say, the blue nylons went straight into the trash as soon as I got home. There will be no Blue Nylons 3.

 

Borders Zone 14

Customer: Hi. I'd like to return this book.
Me: Okay, do you have your receipt?
Customer: No, it was a gift. They didn't give me the receipt/I don't want them to know I'm returning it.
Me: I'm sorry, we don't accept any returns or exchanges without a receipt.
Customer: Can't I just get store credit?
Me: No, I'm sorry. We don't accept any exchanges without a receipt.
Customer: Not even for store credit?
Me: No. I'm sorry, that is the return policy.
Customer: Well you used to take returns without a receipt. I've returned stuff here before.
Me: Yes, in the past we did. But our return policy changed about 2 years ago and we no longer take anything back without a receipt.
Customer (angry): Well what am I supposed to do with this book? I already have it/don't want it/feel like I am entitled to your store's money because I got a gift I don't want.
Me: I don't know. You could give it to someone else or donate it to a library or ask whoever gave you the gift for a receipt.
Customer: Well I never. I am never coming back here again. I can't believe this. I have never had such horrible customer service. (Customer storms out of the store.)

If I have to have this conversation one more time I am going to scream!