Borders Zone 13

Regulars Part Deux

We have a new regular. He showed up two weeks ago and has been showing up every day since. His name is Elastic Pants Man. Can you guess who came up with his name?
So anyways, EPM got his name because he always wears brown pants with an elastic waistband. You can see the elastic because he also always wears a white undershirt tucked into said elastic band. He shows up in the morning and often stays until the store closes.

What does he do all day you ask?
1. Reads our books, mostly comics and local history without paying.
2. Talks loudly for hours at a time on his cell phone, often spouting strange political ideas..
3. Plays games on his laptop using the free wifi and the not free electricity.
4. Naps.
5. Gets free cups of ice water from the cafe.
6. Lets employees know about his various successful business ventures.
7. Smells bad.

Borders Zone 12

We have a very chatty guy who comes and changes the burned out lightbulbs in our store about once a month. His chattiness usually bugs me, but he said the most brilliant thing on Saturday.
"Sitting in here and reading all day is just like taking your own plate and fork to a buffet."
Amen lightbulb guy, Amen.