Pet Peeve #2

"Simon Says"

This pet peeve involves songs that tell you how to dance to them. Some examples are obvious - The Hokey Pokey is never fun, especially if you are wearing roller skates and trying to put your whole self in and out. The song should be called The Recipe for Disaster. But I digress.
Other songs don't actually tell you what to do, but they are choreographed - The Macarena, That Funky Chicken song, line dancing in general. I am still scarred from my 8th grade PE unit on line dancing. What I learned from that unit was to burn both calories and my dignity all to the catchy tune of "Achy Breaky Heart."
Then there is the insidious class of songs that people have created imaginary choreography for. I was driving around on my lunch break yesterday when "Rock Lobster" came on the radio. It's a catchy tune with amusing lyrics. I was enjoying the song, and the flashback to my teen years, when the song got to that part where they say "Down, down, down, down, etc." My pleasant flashback turned to horror as I pictured everyone around me at a church dance sinking down to lie on the floor at that particular point in the song. I always hated when everyone did that. Why? Because for the first thing, I don't like lying on cultural hall floors especially while wearing a dress. Two, I am contrary by nature. You say "black" and I'll say "white." Everyone lies on the floor and I just don't want to join in. I am not a joiner by nature. Same thing with CrissCross wanting me to "Jump Jump" or the Village People and spelling letters with my arms.

p.s. You are probably thinking, "But Lindsay, what about square dancing? You didn't mention square dancing." Well, I don't have much experience with square dancing except for once in 6th grade when we square danced one night at camp. It was a lot of fun, but mostly just because I got to hold hands with some cute boys.